The Only Girl in the World by Maude Julien

Author:Maude Julien
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Little, Brown and Company
Published: 2017-12-12T05:00:00+00:00

Ravaillac

Once my father has made up his mind what new outbuildings we are to construct in the grounds over the coming summer—a workshop, an aviary, among other projects—he must reach a decision about where they should be built, which he does with the help of a pendulum. He sits in state on his wooden crate and instructs us to walk around the garden until we reach a spot that inspires him. Then he takes out the pendulum, which he keeps on a velvet cushion in a green case, and dangles it at the end of its string. My mother and I have to stand motionless behind him while the pendulum circles for ages. Finally, my father shakes his head and puts it away. Then the whole performance is repeated for as many times as it takes to find the perfect site.

My father did not consult the pendulum when he decided to build the gymnasium directly over Arthur’s grave. This man who has endless theories about the hereafter, about energies, the planets, can’t come up with a single explanation for this choice. It’s as if he wishes Arthur never existed, as if he wants the creature I loved most in the world to sink into oblivion.

My father is still keen for me to be a potential recruit for a circus. Until the gymnasium is completed I have to do my somersault training in the dining room, and go onto the verandah to practice walking on my hands, handstands and the splits. I have no idea how to do any of these things. Neither do my parents, but they stubbornly continue to instruct me: ‘Put your hands on the ground, swing your legs towards the wall and stay like that.’ As physical contact is still strictly forbidden, neither of them helps me by holding my legs. Only after countless attempts and dozens of falls do I just about manage to do a headstand.

With somersaults, though, even after months of attempts, I can’t get my legs to ‘flip over’. My father is infuriated by my repeated failures, and my mother says accusingly, ‘If you can’t do it, it’s because you don’t want to. It’s a question of willpower.’ I keep hurting myself by falling flat on my back. My career in the circus is anything but promising.

My father also wants me to shake off my ridiculous fear of rats. From time to time he comes with me when I go to collect the duck eggs. He stands outside while I go into their shelter, where I often come face to face with a big muskrat ready to attack. I mustn’t scream or run away; if I do I risk having to spend the night locked in the duck shed.

Muskrats swarm all around the duck pond. I often spot them swimming through the black water. Sometimes when I do something cowardly I have to go and swim in that pond. Luckily this punishment is rare. I think my mother intervenes because she’s the one who would have to fish me out if I got into trouble in the water.

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